i really truly <3 (heart) the youth group that God has blessed me with, has called me to.
heart enough to do more than just weekends… to long hours sitting down planning….to pray incessantly….
What else though… what else will God give me the <3 for so that I can serve with joy the rest of my days… because I am not able to do this 5 days a week… as much as I would love to.
So my prayer starting from last week was God, give me a passion… a calling… a way to glorify You.
i cooked today…. miso soup. i baked today… macaroons. i drove yesterday… to and fro church.
to me, very good things, very good adult-like things… but i’m so not grown up!!!
sitting at BAY hearing Ivin teach… I remember what it’s like to be taught. Seriously taught and fed… not simply because the message is important, or the speaker is good, but because the person is real, and he wants to input into my life. i want to be led, taught and nurtured. somewhere along my way, i somehow got used to being independent… but i really want input!
chatting with Dan Loh online… how long has it been since our weekly 3 hr long conversations over the phone when I was in seconday school struggling with french and life? still his concern for me never ends and i’m always encouraged by his affirmation. miss having that care, that attention and real personal time with my CG leaders… maybe because i now am the CG leader… but nonetheless…
talking about ministry and realising there’s so much i want to share, and there’s still so much i want to learn.
really wondering where to go from here, where to grow from here. 
But I know this.
I want to love.
I want to love others the way God loves me… the way my older brothers and sisters in Christ have loved me. and then more.
I really just want to love.
I’m loving it, the simple life… life spent on happy pursuits of baking, cleaning, craft projects and importantly… people.
Meanwhile, re-doing the blog once again. Re-doing things makes me happy. It’s like starting afresh! I will be blogging more… really!
Meanwhile, back to my happy happy pursuits!
I’ve never thought much about theology even though I have thought many things about God.
How does one begin to think about God, to begin to think about truth and then to begin to think the truth about God?
I’ve learnt and processed several SUPER thoughts the last 3 days at IDMC.
1) God is not unknowable. He reveals Himself to us… therefore we can know Him and think about Him.
2) Not having a true understanding of God is not okay… because we can’t have a right relationship with the wrong God. Many of the “truths” we believe are truncated, presumptuous, false and plain wrong. E.g. God will not make you have a bad day because you forgot to pray in the morning.
3) Our worldview and perspective of God and the world has been heavily influenced by society and become human-centred. We think about God in a human-way instead of thinking about God in a godly-way. E.g. We limit God or think that He is petty.
4) Humans were created in the image of God: Spiritual Beings with Spiritual Appetites. We’ve fallen to being physical beings with physical appetites (greed, lust..) There’s been an inversion and we aren’t even aware of it!
5) God is GOD. He is Holy. He is Love. He is I AM. But it doesn’t stop there. It should start there. Because God is such, our thoughts about God and about the world should begin from understanding Who God is, then Whose we are, then Who we are… and then so forth. More understanding of God leads to deeper relationship with God.
and many more which are not so succinct thoughts as yet.
My conviction. I need to hunger for a deep understanding of God. It’s not just possible, it’s what He wants and has provided for.
to press on in work, accepting my weaknesses, knowing my limitations and yet to say, I will obey, I will suffer.
to love my girls. God has blessed me with them, and even though I feel in a place like I have nothing to give, yet God brings them, and I will pour out my life.
to love the leaders, and grow together
to be dependant on the power of Christ to resist temptations, to be disciplined.
to pray… more and more and more… what ever I ask in His name, it will be given…
John 14: 15-31 – Because Jesus has provided me with salvation, a testament of His love. Furthermore, His manifest presence, the Holy Spirit is IN me… to be a helper in obedience, to be teacher in all things, to be a reminder of God’s promises … to be here with me.
I am not alone. even though I feel like I am.
ohkay God… I get it! There’s a difference between obedience and disobedience. The difference is as fine as a thread.
Obedience means going where God wants you to go, in body, mind and spirit. God will do the work to make that happen. It’s different from constantly asking to be rescued all the time, and different from “sucking it up” because that’s not a willing spirit.
Of course you kinda have to know where God wants you to go before you can be obedient… NOT! sighs. Because even trial of figuring out His voice could be something to go through.
Am I willing? NO! I’m so not actually at all. I just wanna live a happy, peaceful, non-stressed life. But that again is defined in my terms. I think from God’s perspective, nothing can be very stressful since He is in controlled.
So bear with me, walk with me… I’m learning obedience today.
haha. ok. I was reminded not to write about work on my blog. so even though I remain innocent (i’m not complaining about my work mates or bosses), but just sharing my struggles, I’ve decided to be a little more discreet… so only people who know me well will know the password to those struggle related posts.
The password is ….. the answer to the question: what is the real colour of cherie’s lime-green hairband?
Wow… the last few days have got my soul drinking deep on God. and I have two words… Dependence, and desperation… actually reminded me when I was gmailing with two friends on gmail.
Dependence means trusting God to provide… For everything along Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and forever. It’s in the nature of God as our Father to give. That giving nature of God cannot be earned. And as the receiver, we cannot determine the nature of that gift. We simply trust that God’s gift is in provision for our need… whether physical, financial, emotional, relationship, mental and so forth.
Desperation means to get to the point where we thrive on the dependence on God. Without God the Father’s provision, we cannot continue to live. We literally have no other resources.
That’s where we all should be. But along the way, we get the strange idea that God our Father’s resources and nature (though He is the King of the Universe and the God of Love) will not be adequate, and we start to look for resources elsewhere (our inner strength?, money, jobs, friendships… and what-nots {literally NOTs}). We lose the desperation and we assume that without looking towards God, we can receive His provision.
That’s like expecting our ice-cream chef’s ice-cream (or HK sashimi or whatever is ur fav thing) on a platter while srummaging though the trash. We literally need to stop, turn around, ask God to clean our dirty hands and stretch them out in need to our Daddy God.
And those are my thoughts this week…
